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BOOKING NOW: The Powerful Speaking Intensive Retreat (near Byron Bay)

BOOKING NOW: How To Ask For What You Want + Powerful Speaking Secrets

Do you suffer from public speaking nerves, stress and anxiety?

Does it mean you dread giving presentations, and can’t sleep the night before a talk?

I’m here to help you unlock genuine confidence so you can relax, own the stage, speak powerfully, and captivate your audiences.

I’m here to help you develop your power and leadership, and inspire and lead every time you speak.

My clients joyfully report an increase in confidence of more than 60%.

“After working with Tricia, nothing is holding me back. There are no limits, and I control where I go from here. I’m confident, self-assured, and at ease with who I am.”  Taryn Brumfitt, Founder Body Image Movement

We can work together in my signature workshop programs or private coaching.

Sign up now to receive my free training video The 5 Secrets to Powerful Speaking.

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Sign up for my free training video The 5 Secrets to Powerful Speaking + articles, insights and special offers

audience

It’s a presenter’s worst nightmare.

The person in the front row falling asleep. And snoring loudly.

The two women chatting and giggling and distracting everyone else.

The heckler who calls out.

The woman who keeps interrupting and asks too many questions.

You’re standing up the front speaking. You’re meant to be able to command the room. It’s falling apart around you.

Here’s what to do:

Raise your voice or clap your hands to try to get the attention of the snorer.  Even if that person doesn’t wake up, it’s likely that someone sitting nearby will get the cue and help you out by tapping the sleeper on the shoulder.

Use eye contact to hone in on the women talking and annoying everyone else. Eye contact will show that you want their attention, and it will instantly shut them up and draw them in to what you’re saying.

It’s a great way to get people engaged.

You can try pausing too. That works a treat.

As for a heckler, you can ask, “What makes you feel that?”

It puts the onus back on the heckler and forces her/him to come up with something to say. It works wonders, and usually diffuses the flame, quick smart.

Note the language: Say “What” instead of “Why” and “feel” instead of “think.”

The right words in the right sequence are powerful.

The woman who keeps interrupting and asks too many questions is enough to drive you completely mad.

Tell her that there’ll be time for questions after, and you have to keep going. Tell her again if you need to.

And to alleviate those sorts of problems, it’s also useful to tell your audience up front how it’s going to work. You might tell them to take a note of any questions they have and save them for the end, when there’ll be question time.

You’re in charge. It’s your presentation and your stage. You make the rules. Tell your audience how it’s going to work. They’re relying on you.

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Photo credit: Mathias Klang 

Kids Holding Pinecones free creative commons
At my daughter’s school assembly, after the Kaurna Welcome was spoken, the National Anthem and Happy Birthday were sung, and awards for excellent behaviour handed out, a guest speaker spoke.

She was there to talk about a school holiday sports program. She gave her spiel, then the kids were asked if they had any questions.

In a room of about 160 kids, I reckon at least 40 shot up a hand. They couldn’t wait to ask their question, and some kept pushing their hand even higher into the air, as if to say pick me, pick me. Because that’s what kids do.

Many of the questions repeated, and some had been answered when the speaker first gave her spiel, but no-one said anything about that, nor laughed.

These kids had questions and they wanted them answered. Some just wanted to make a comment too, like about the sports program their friend had been to in the last school holidays.

Later that day, I ran a free preview teleclass for my workshop program How To Ask For What You Want.

At the end, I opened up the lines for questions. Guess what? There were none.

I marvelled at the difference between those kids, who are so curious and eager to be involved, and so many of us adults who hold ourselves back.

We do it because we think there is such a thing as a stupid question.

We do it because we think that we should know the answer and if we ask, we’ll expose ourselves as stupid.

We do it because deep down, we think we’re frauds.

We do it, and then we waste so much time trying to figure out things ourselves that could so easily be dealt with by simply asking a question.

Leaders ask. They ask the most questions. They ask for what they want too.

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Are you joining me for my workshop program, How To Ask For What You Want?

Learn how to navigate influencing conversations so you can ask for what you want  – with courage, confidence, respect and skill – and get it.

Early bird registration is now open.

Photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt

I’ve been met with more blank faces than I care to count when I’ve asked women this question: “When was the last time you negotiated at work?

Then, after a few moments of thought, I’ve mostly been told this: “I don’t think I ever have.”

Many don’t even ask for what they want in the first place. And of those who do, many more haven’t progressed to the next step of negotiating. One woman told me that, when she returned from maternity leave, she was grateful to still have her job, so there was no way she was going to ask for working hours that would better suit her new role as a mum.

Struggling to own our worth and value in the first place, we put all the power in other people’s hands. We don’t own it. 

I get it. I never even considered negotiating for myself until I was 40, and the first time I did, I failed miserably. I had no idea what it took to prepare well and navigate such an important influencing conversation. Not a clue.

I’ll never forget walking out of my boss’s office feeling angry and resentful, mostly with myself. I was embarrassed too. It was a turning point for me and I decided, while driving home that afternoon, that I would never put myself in such a vulnerable position again.

I vowed to learn how to ask for what I want and negotiate with courage, confidence, skill and respect. Because respect and graciousness are an essential part of the negotiating process.

I did lots of research. I found out that women stand to lose one-million dollars during their lifetime if they fail to ask for what they want and negotiate. I was astonished. One-million dollars!

I found out that women with the most education lose the most in earnings too.

I’ve never been motivated solely by money, and many of us aren’t. We want to do work that’s meaningful, and many of us want to make a difference.

When I looked beyond money for myself though, I saw that in my failure to ask for what I wanted and negotiate, I was losing power.

My power to change my situation for the better, my power to help advocate for others, and my power to help reshape the world.

We don’t have to add to, and perpetuate, the inequalities. It’s a fact that the gender gap still exists when it comes to wages.

When you don’t ask and negotiate, it devastates your potential.

It’s time to shift past deeply held beliefs that nice girls don’t negotiate. The truth is, women negotiate all the time at home, in our relationships and families. We’re good at it.

Yet, for so many of us, those skills seem to switch off when we walk through the office door.

Claim your worth. Do it for you, your children, for women everywhere.

Your time has come. Speak up. Ask. Negotiate.

~~~

Want some help to start asking for what you want, and negotiating, with strength, skill and respect?

Join me for How To Ask For What You Want: May 9th, Adelaide.

Sign up for my free training video The 5 Secrets to Powerful Speaking + articles, insights and special offers