Do you suffer from public speaking nerves, stress and anxiety?
Does it mean you dread giving presentations, and can’t sleep the night before a talk?
I’m here to help you unlock genuine confidence so you can relax, own the stage, speak powerfully, and captivate your audiences.
I’m here to help you develop your power and leadership, and inspire and lead every time you speak.
My clients joyfully report an increase in confidence of more than 60%.
“After working with Tricia, nothing is holding me back. There are no limits, and I control where I go from here. I’m confident, self-assured, and at ease with who I am.” Taryn Brumfitt, Founder Body Image Movement
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The list always looks something like this:
• Lack of confidence
• Discomfort with being the centre of attention
• Fear of freezing up
• Belief of not being good enough
• Belief of not being able to do it well
• Concern about knowing what to talk about
• Worrying about being accepted
• Fear of being vulnerable
• An inner critic that’s too loud
I also ask participants to write down what they want from our time together. Here’s what they usually say:
• To be a courageous, honest and confident speaker
• To feel comfortable on stage
• To let go of the need for acceptance
• To increase my self-confidence
• To feel more grounded
• To control fear
• To persuade audiences
• To speak with clarity
• To make a presentation interesting and enjoyable
• To be understood
• To be proud and excited to present
• To deliver a non-rambling talk
• To be an inspiring story-teller
• To get excited about speaking to an audience
• To allow my true self to shine through
That last point – to allow my true self to shine through – is the kicker.
It’s simple. So simple.
I also understand that the key to resolving some of our greatest challenges, while it might be simple, isn’t necessarily easy.
I know how confronting it is to look fear in the eye. I appreciate the nervousness and stress that can come from standing up in front of a group and speaking. I used to suffer from terrible nerves and worry that people either wouldn’t be interested in what I had to say, or be vocal about telling others that I was full of myself.
I get it all.
And here’s the part that’s simple. Once you find the courage to be yourself, once you strip back what’s been getting in the way (all those ideas, thoughts, beliefs and patterns), you can step into what it truly means to own it.
Once you find the message that’s yours to share, and realise that no-one else can speak it the way you do, you can step into what it truly means to own it.
Then there’s no looking back.
And ahead? Everything that’s on the “what you want” list, and the profound experience of holding an audience in the palm of your hand… of touching people, moving and inspiring them.
As a speaker, that’s your job.
Want to some help? There’s more over here.
One of my clients, who just happens to be smart, wise and passionate, emailed me after she read my last article.
She told me agreed with my three steps, and, for her, there’s a fourth.
Here it is: 4. Stop comparing myself to others and start comparing my ideas and actions to what I believe in and what I value in life. The trick is to really take the trouble to find these things out as they may be buried. This is helping me to build the core strength to stop worrying about what others think.
I told you she’s a smart woman.
Comparing ourselves is so normal we often forget we’re doing it.
I’ve caught myself comparing myself with women who are younger and less experienced than me and “more successful.”
I’ve heard myself say something extremely complimentary about another woman’s achievements and then try to justify why I’m not in the same position she is.
Unless I’m mindful, and watching with the eyes of a hawk, I could so easily miss all the ways I’m comparing, undermining and flogging myself.
Since I started my business though, the voice of comparison is much quieter. At times, it’s even non-existent. I have no doubt that comes from doing work I love and living a life that’s aligned with what truly matters to me.
Sure, I get off course from time to time, but I bounce back quicker these days.
Part of the reason I focus so heavily on discovering the message that’s yours to share in my signature powerful speaking program is because, when you’re connected with your purpose and values, it’s so much easier to own it – not just as a speaker, but in your entire life.
I write the following words as much as a reminder to myself, as I do for you.
There’s only one you. And when you stand up in front of a group of people, speak and just be you – and are witnessed and celebrated for that – the voice of comparison fades from a shout to a mere whisper. It’s powerful, and it’s amazing.
1. Public Speaking & Presenting
As Jonathan Fields says in one of my favourite articles ever: Ever wonder “who am I to…?” Write a book, start a business, lead a movement, make art, stake a claim, land a role or anything that matters AND has a long history of kick-ass players and achievements that’ve come before you. What is there possibly left to do or say or write or create that hasn’t been done before? The answer is your voice. Your stories. Your lens.
Yep, your voice, your stories, your lens. Only you can tell it your way. And your way might be heard when no-one else’s was, no matter how many times the message was shared.
When that voice of comparison starts to scream, ask yourself: Is this true? Is this person’s actions aligned with my values?
Because if you’re dreaming of gallivanting around the countryside to run a zillion workshops (ah-hem) just like “she” does, and what you value most is being at home with your family, then there’s a problem… and the potential for the voice of comparison to arc up.
When you know who you are, what you’re all about, and what truly matters deep down, then you’re less likely to compare yourself, and also less likely to care about what other people think of you.
Remember, you are beyond compare.
Each time I run a workshop, I look around at the brave, dynamic and intelligent women in the room, and I silently ask them “Why are you here?”
Each time, as they stand up and speak to the group, one by one, I wonder “What can I really offer you?”
They’re not questions I’m asking because I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s not about giving myself a hard time. It’s more that those women in the room excel at giving themselves a hard time, and have no clue just how amazing they really are.
It’s a conundrum, especially because I know full well that the types of women who are prepared to invest in themselves and their growth in the first place are the remarkable ones. They care deeply, they want to be their best, and they want to make a difference with their words.
I ask myself these questions a lot. And they get even louder when a woman who can hold an audience in the palm of her hand without even trying is telling me that she thinks she’s not good enough. I’ve met too many of these women lately.
As I was navigating my way around Amazon.com this week and checking out what’s happening with my book, Own It, I noticed there’s a section called “Popular Highlights.”
One of the most highlighted sentences in my book is this: “The women who struggle most with limitations that often manifest as debilitating fear and the voice of the saboteur are usually those who are capable of having the most profound impact when they speak.”
Does that sound like you?
If it does, I want to offer you a few tips.
Because you deserve to stand up and own the stage, and there are audiences who are longing to hear what you have to say. Trust me on this.
The gap between humility and self-deprecation is vast. Listening to the positive feedback from other people is a great place to start to bridge that gap.
If, at first, you can’t believe you’re fabulous, take someone else’s word for it. Especially if that someone is more senior or experienced than you, known for their own particular brand of expertise, and you trust them.
The more you hear it, make more of an effort to let it in. Breathe it in. Write it down. Celebrate. Create rituals to do all that.
This can be such a relief. What if what you’re saying, even when you’re sharing your own experiences, is solely about benefitting your audiences? What if you could remove the focus from yourself?
The best speakers do this. They give and give. They focus on service.
Fear starts to quieten when you make it about others. Your audiences will love you for it too. And then you’ll have the opportunity to go back to step 1.
The voice of the saboteur is trying to tell you something. Listen.
Most of the time we want the unpleasant parts to go away. We want to get rid of that voice that undermines us. We tell it to shut up. But it doesn’t work.
Those inner selves – your little ones – have messages for you. Usually, they’re trying to keep you safe. Because to stand up in front of a group of people and be so vulnerable and maybe make a fool of yourself – that’s the story you’ve been telling yourself anyway – is dangerous, according to your little ones. They’re a part of you, and while you’re trying to make logical, adult decisions, they’re busy trying to keep you safe, according to their childish version of the world.
Make friends with your little ones. Talk to them. Ask them what they need. Assure them that they’re safe and that, as an adult, you’ll take care of everything. There’s no need for them to worry. All they have to care about is the fun stuff, like playing and doing craft.
Use these tips and watch the difference they make, not just when it comes to speaking, but in all areas of your life.
If you want to dive deeper, I’m here to help you in any way I can. Even if it means being the one who’s more experienced as a public speaker and presenter and can share with you, from the bottom of my heart, how incredibly fantastic, brilliant and wise you really are.
It’s my honour and privilege.