Tricia Karp Tricia Karp
15 January 2013

Why intention gets you 95% there in the powerful speaking stakes

IMG_0602My girl’s behaviour has been driving us mad.

The cocktail of being a bonfire of energy mixed with school holidays minus the usual routines has made for sparks flying.

My girl’s quick with a no and letting everyone know that life is on her terms, thank you very much.  She’s controlling (especially when she’s feeling out of control), highly sensitive and emotional, super smart, incredibly charming, and bossy.  And for the past month or so, I’ve found it difficult to like her.  Love her?  Absolutely, extraordinarily so, as only a mama can.  But like her?  No. Not much.  And that was disturbing me.  I was wallowing in that I have no idea how to deal with this and I’m feeling helpless zone.

Our family holiday was when I put my foot down.  My man, my girl and I were together for nearly two weeks, by the beach, armed with the idea that we were on a holiday and that was going to be lots of fun.  Two weeks together, all day and night, made for a rarity.  It also made for plenty of time to observe – and cop – a whole lot of behaviour from my girl that I’m no longer willing to accept.

Upon our return, my man and I went to see a family therapist (I rang her from the airport, I couldn’t even wait to get home and check my diary.  I’d take whatever appointment she could give us!)

The therapist swiftly named the issues, gave us a new technique to try, and my man and I arrived home as a team, united, ready to tackle any crap behaviour that was flung our way.

That was a week ago.  And guess what?  Our girl’s behaviour has been exemplary ever since.  I kid you not.

Have we used the technique the family therapist gave us?  No.  We haven’t needed to.

A friend asked if we’d told our girl that we were fed up with her behaviour and going to get help with it.  We didn’t. Our intention was enough, drawing a deep line in the sand about what’s acceptable – and what isn’t.

Intentions are incredibly powerful.  When you set a clear intention that’s aligned with your heart and soul, it has an immediate impact in your world.  It travels in invisible waves, and it’s felt.

To be a powerful speaker, you need to set clear intentions before important conversations.

If you’re feeling hurt, scared or angry with someone, and you want to heal your connection, your intention needs to reflect that.  It will change the way you approach the conversation: what you say, how you say it, your willingness to listen and learn.

It’s the difference between trying to win or seek revenge, and genuinely wanting to understand and reconnect.

Your true voice – your personal integrity – is aligned with your intention, your values and convictions.

When you speak wisely and well, you are a powerful woman.  A powerful speaker.

~~~

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